My Books
Mercury Is In Retrograde: A Field Guide To New Age Coping Language
Ever blamed a breakup on the full moon? Smudged your Airbnb before unpacking? Told someone “That doesn’t resonate with me” instead of just saying no? Same.
In this brilliantly snarky and oddly affirming field guide, the modern spiritual lexicon is decoded—from “trusting the universe” (aka having no plan but plenty of incense) to “holding space” (translation: “I’m here for you, but in a way that still lets me cancel plans”).
Packed with satirical glossary entries, retrograde survival checklists, invented buzzwords, and mystical footnotes, Mercury Is In Retrograde is for every birth-chart-reading, cacao-ceremony-curious, manifestation-fatigued soul just trying to stay aligned while crying in their bathtub.
Whether you’re deep in your shadow work or just here for the jokes, this book is your safe, sage-scented space to laugh at the woo—and maybe feel a little seen, too.
The Bad One: A Memoir About Growing Up a Goat
The Bad One is a haunting, unflinching memoir that has become a cult classic—and a bestseller—for a reason. Hailed by readers as perhaps the most chilling and revelatory account of scapegoating ever written, this book doesn’t just tell a story—it dares you to look directly at the wound.
With razor-sharp prose and raw emotional clarity, the hidden dynamics of toxic family systems are exposed, where one child is cast in the role of “the bad one” and made to carry the weight of collective dysfunction. What begins as a personal story quickly resonates as a universal reckoning with the lies we’re told about love, loyalty, and identity.
Unapologetic, unforgettable, and deeply human, The Bad One is not just a memoir—it’s a mirror, held up to anyone who’s ever been blamed for what they couldn’t control. If you’ve been the scapegoat, this book may break your heart—but it might also set you free.
Animals Being Extra: 35 of The Most Dramatic, Delightfully Unhinged Animals on Earth
Nature is not subtle. For every humble pupper, there’s a frog that snaps its own bones into weapons, a bird that redecorates his bachelor pad daily just to get a single date, and an octopus who says, “Eight arms. Independent brain. Mood ring skin. Let’s go!”
Animals Being Extra: 35 of The Most Dramatic, Delightfully Unhinged Animals on Earth is not your average wildlife book. This isn’t about noble beasts roaming the plains or majestic whales breaching in slow motion while a symphony plays. This is a celebration of the divas, the drama queens, the overachievers, and the evolutionary weirdos that make the natural world look like a Broadway production on a sugar high.
In this lovingly-illustrated, full-color book, you’ll find a dazzling cast of real-life creatures who do the most—from peacocks flaunting feathers like red carpet royalty to possums playing dead with full method-acting commitment. This is the animal kingdom, turned up to 11.
So if you’ve ever looked at a squirrel launching off a bird feeder and thought, That was uncalled for, or watched a cat knock something off a table with perfect eye contact and whispered, Iconic,—this book is for you.
Enjoy the chaos. Applaud the flair. And remember: being extra isn’t a flaw. It’s a superpower.
For Pete’s Sake: A Celebration of Caucasian Conversation
For Pete’s Sake: A Celebration of Caucasian Conversation is a hilarious, heartfelt romp through the wonderfully peculiar world of white people sayings. From the eternally confusing “Jeez Louise” to the battle cry of suburban dads everywhere—“You and whose army, pal?”—this book captures the spirit, sass, and sheer specificity of a cultural dialect built on politeness, passive aggression, and an undying love for lawn care.
Whether it’s weather-related small talk or inexplicably intense turns of phrase, these sayings are more than just words—they’re a way of life. And in these pages, they’re lovingly cataloged, gently roasted, and deeply appreciated.
Perfect for fans of observational humor, language lovers, and anyone who knows what “Oofta” means. This is your field guide to Caucasian conversation.